The Day My Auntie Insulted Me

I know you’re all dying to know who is this ‘someone’ and that you hate me for keeping you in suspense. Well the wait is over. Let me introduce you to Khadeja Sana. She’s Muslim, young, pretty, a smart dresser who covers her hair. She even has a blog, just like me: becomingsana.blogspot.com.au

No, no, don’t worry, I didn’t fall in love again, on the contrary. I’m talking about my 18-year old ex’s aunt. Fond of me at the beginning, she ended up sending me the worse message ever via Facebook. (Apparently I can make good first impressions but that doesn’t last.) My crime? As I said in my previous post, I took off my relationship status of Facebook. Judge for yourself. For non-Farsi speakers, begharat means someone without pride. Warning. This message contains strong language and sexual references from the outset and throughout. (Thank you MTV)

I think this little work of art says more about its author than anything I could add. I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner auntie San. You see, I tried to call you. Looks like you blocked my number. I guess things are easier when one is hidden behind a screen. I have to say I’m a bit disappointed by your little essay. You could have made it more personal. You could have attacked me on my many flaws. Insulting someone is so common. You could have written that to anybody. Now I don’t feel special anymore. I have to admit that the immigrant part is funny though. I didn’t realize you were an Aboriginal Australian. Aren’t you the daughter of Afghan refugees? That would explain the spelling mistakes in your message. Little tip from a French immigrant: ‘epidemy of begharat’ doesn’t mean anything. I think you meant epitome, right? And one last thing, you mentioned the phone your niece gave me. You should check the Holy Quran 2.264. It’s about reminding people of your good deeds… you’re not supposed to do it.

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People around me were really shocked by the kind of language used. ‘How is your relationship her business?’ ‘Is she crazy?’ ‘The last paragraph… WT*?!’ ‘I’m sure you won’t come close to an Afghan again.’ (Coming from an Afghan) My mother’s reaction was more balanced: ‘Aren’t you shocked?’ ‘I’m happy they didn’t kill you. […] You know these people are a bit backward.’ ‘But she’s veiled. How can she talk like that?’ ‘You still don’t know that people may seem good from the outside but aren’t always inside?’ Dear Khala Sana, I have to thank you. Your scatological letter, (I’m sure Freud would have a lot to say about that too), helped me to  take my decision. I was still hesitating about my relationship with your niece. You gave me an answer. So merci (tashakor in French)! But the real disappointment in all of this, was my ex’s reaction. To be continued…